Saturday, August 16, 2008

There are just some days when being a mommy makes you cry.


No, that doesn't mean crying in a good way either. I don't know what my deal is lately (Tracey just loves when I use the word "lately" as if implying I've felt a particular way for weeks on end).

I am just exhausted from being a mommy. Gosh I love my kids. I love them dearly, but the truth of the matter is I am spent. Having 5 kids is no cake walk, and I admire all of the families in our ward that have 5+ kids and just seem to do it like it's a piece of cake.

I guess my real struggles right now lie with Aaron and as a result that seems to sap all of my energy from the other kids. Let's just say he's not going through a very cooporative/nice stage right now. In fact the kid is down right fiesty!

Last night it all came to a head when I so desperately wanted to go out on a date with Tracey, but alas, due to recent circumstances we just don't feel like we can leave both Aaron and JM home with the girls for fear of JM's saftey from his older brother. I think the thought of that just hit me like a ton of bricks, that I don't know WHEN Tracey and I will get to go out on a semi-regular basis, and it's just to that point right now when I feel like it's something we need to focus on....

So our date last night consisted of taking Tess, Aaron and JM out to eat. Nice and romantic eh? We ended up at Jim's Family Restaurant which seemed to be about our speed since it's a geriatric hangout. So there we were ready to order and I give the waitress my order and she's looking at me like I am about ready to give her a heart attack. Why do you ask? Because I ordered out of turn! That's right. Of the four of us ordering, she needed to go in a clockwise order starting with Tracey so that she could "keep things straight". Hmmm...I guess I didn't realize it would be that difficult to keep track of 2 kids meals and then just call out the other two meals when they arrived. And want to know the funny thing, that after I finished crying because I ordered wrong, actually made me giggle, was the fact that she still got the food in the wrong spots.

When we got home last night Tracey told me to just lock myself into my scrappy room and take some time out. I did just that. I really wanted to create a layout specifically for the Utah State Fair theme this year which is "Out of The Ordinary". I was so happy when I read that they actually have a normal theme this year. I did another layout of my Maddi girl, because she in fact is no ordinary teen. All in all, scrapping for a few hours did in fact make me feel better. And I'm off to a decent start today. Just me and my ipod went running this morning. 5 miles of nothing but me, the river and the beauty of Gods creations. It really did fill my heart.

Here's hoping to a better day today and a little more patience and sanity with my kiddos.

10 comments:

Jana said...

I Love the LO! She's so gorgeous. Sorry you're having a rough time. You are such a great mom and will be so blessed for all you do for your kiddo's.

Dan said...

I like this layout of Maddi more than the last one. You do such great work.
Have you considered turning the scrapbook room into a padded cell? Not for you but for Aaron.
He is such a lively little boy, he makes me laugh.
Hang in there, you are a great mom.

wendyp said...

hang in there, KLee. I know how you feel because I'm going through it also with the youngest. I keep reminding myself that he will grow out of this stage (eventually, lol) Hopefully in the meantime you and your DH will get some time away soon to breathe and regroup.

Mistylynn said...

Very nice lo! Way to go on the weight loss...and well, the kiddo thing, well, umm I hear ya sista'. This morning we woke up at 8:30am!!!! Wanna know why this is amazing...I know you do...it's because my oldest spent the night at a friend's house and there was no drama this morning. No screaming, no fighting, no "MOM's" being heard throughout the house just peace and quiet and my daughter ate her cereal and I didn't even know she was up. COULD not believe my eyes when I saw that clock. Take care and know that I totally empathize with you sweetie.
Misty
PS Sorry to say I don't know the people you mentioned, but we have lived outside of ABQ for seven years now. We're still in the ABQ East Stake, but we don't socialize with those city folk...just kidding.

Sheryl said...

Beautiful layout, Kristy. Little boys can be horrid, that's for sure. My two certainly are, quite a lot of the time. I do think they are a little less beastly than they were, though, if that's any consolation - and once they go off to school it's someone else's problem to deal with for a while each day!

Sabrina said...

What a beautiful layout, and I'm so glad being a mom to a teenager isn't ALWAYS as bad as everyone tells me...I'm still nervous, but now I have a slight glimmer of hope...

I think you are amazing with 5 kids! I have 2 and there are days that my girls(esp my 4 year old)make me fell like the most indequate mother ever. Hope you get some time away soon!

Becky T said...

Oh Kristy! Bless your heart. This mommy thing is a tough job and it's hard to see through that some times and "enjoy every moment" like we're supposed to, isn't it? But thank goodness every phase is a phase and eventually passes. Some longer than others. But one thing is for sure, you are an amazing mom!

Chris said...

Beautiful Layout Kristy! I so understand the difficulty with 5 kids! My 2 year old is going through a bad phase right now and I so understand your pain! My hubby and I haven't gone out in forever! Here's hoping there's a light at the end of the tunnel soon!

Chris said...

Beautiful Layout Kristy! I so understand the difficulty with 5 kids! My 2 year old is going through a bad phase right now and I so understand your pain! My hubby and I haven't gone out in forever! Here's hoping there's a light at the end of the tunnel soon!

Chris said...
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