Saturday, August 16, 2008
There are just some days when being a mommy makes you cry.
No, that doesn't mean crying in a good way either. I don't know what my deal is lately (Tracey just loves when I use the word "lately" as if implying I've felt a particular way for weeks on end).
I am just exhausted from being a mommy. Gosh I love my kids. I love them dearly, but the truth of the matter is I am spent. Having 5 kids is no cake walk, and I admire all of the families in our ward that have 5+ kids and just seem to do it like it's a piece of cake.
I guess my real struggles right now lie with Aaron and as a result that seems to sap all of my energy from the other kids. Let's just say he's not going through a very cooporative/nice stage right now. In fact the kid is down right fiesty!
Last night it all came to a head when I so desperately wanted to go out on a date with Tracey, but alas, due to recent circumstances we just don't feel like we can leave both Aaron and JM home with the girls for fear of JM's saftey from his older brother. I think the thought of that just hit me like a ton of bricks, that I don't know WHEN Tracey and I will get to go out on a semi-regular basis, and it's just to that point right now when I feel like it's something we need to focus on....
So our date last night consisted of taking Tess, Aaron and JM out to eat. Nice and romantic eh? We ended up at Jim's Family Restaurant which seemed to be about our speed since it's a geriatric hangout. So there we were ready to order and I give the waitress my order and she's looking at me like I am about ready to give her a heart attack. Why do you ask? Because I ordered out of turn! That's right. Of the four of us ordering, she needed to go in a clockwise order starting with Tracey so that she could "keep things straight". Hmmm...I guess I didn't realize it would be that difficult to keep track of 2 kids meals and then just call out the other two meals when they arrived. And want to know the funny thing, that after I finished crying because I ordered wrong, actually made me giggle, was the fact that she still got the food in the wrong spots.
When we got home last night Tracey told me to just lock myself into my scrappy room and take some time out. I did just that. I really wanted to create a layout specifically for the Utah State Fair theme this year which is "Out of The Ordinary". I was so happy when I read that they actually have a normal theme this year. I did another layout of my Maddi girl, because she in fact is no ordinary teen. All in all, scrapping for a few hours did in fact make me feel better. And I'm off to a decent start today. Just me and my ipod went running this morning. 5 miles of nothing but me, the river and the beauty of Gods creations. It really did fill my heart.
Here's hoping to a better day today and a little more patience and sanity with my kiddos.